Bloggish Introspection

My blog is having an identity crisis.

 

[Argh. Something about late nights brings out the thoughtful in me. I can sit down in the middle of the afternoon to write, and barely struggle through a handful of ideas before I fall asleep, but here it is, nearing midnight after a LONG week, and now I want to dump my mental drawers and sort them out...]  

 

When I started this blog, I deliberately chose not to pigeonhole it. I knew how well I categorize my visible, public life and perform for each category as expected, and I felt that I needed one place where all the crazy pieces of who I am were united, at least to the same degree that they are united within my fractured mind. 

 

A nice idea in theory; a silly one in practice.  I'm not sure what made me think I would turn into a different (less self-edited) person on a blog. I don't dump all of my laundry here; only the parts I'm willing to hang on a public clothesline. The pieces that look the best.

 

I have some ideas of what I don't want it to be.  I don't want this to just be a school blog of cute kid stories. I try to steer clear of the rambling journal-entry posts I'm prone toward. (This post is riding that slippery slope, but hey, it's late. My judgment ebbs when I'm low on sleep.) I don't want it to be too heavy, or too light. I want it to be fun and thought-provoking.  I want it to turn my readers toward God, but I also harbor a nature which wants, desperately so, to look good. 

I'm not a huge fan of dirty laundry blogs -and don't anticipate this one joining the ranks- but I'm wondering about my honesty and my purpose in writing.  One of the themes God has placed before me for 2011 is that it is to be a year of turning from seeking my own glory to declaring His glory. 

 

I don't know what this will mean for my writing here, but I'm asking God for two things: first, for the changes within my heart to love His glory more than my own; and second, for opportunities to give Him glory in whatever ways He wants.  Next January, I hope to be able to write a testimonial of my faithful, loving, full-of-surprises Father and His actions all around me in 2011!