On the Desire to Speak Being Far Greater Than the Need...

I suppose that could be the whole post right there.

I could say a lot more about how much I'm like a first grader, delighting only in telling and retelling my own dramatic stories to whoever will listen. (And sometimes even to those who don't listen, which results in the story fading out to the point of inaudibility and embarrassment. Yes, folks, I AM aware. But it doesn't stop me, sadly.)

I could write about how my ability to describe an amazing revelation from Scripture far outstrips my ability to act on said revelation. Clever words do NOT equal changed hearts.

I could tell you all about how I don't have any trouble pointing out your or someone else's flaws, but words that "build up and give grace to those who listen" (Ephesians 4:29) feel strange in my mouth.

I've been pondering all of this, and it keeps bubbling up into blog post ideas, perpetuating the problem a bit.

Some Scripture that is cutting its way through my thinking, "dividing between the thoughts and intents of the heart:" (Hebrews 4)

"A fool has no delight in understanding, but only in revealing his own mind." Proverbs 18:2

"There is one who speaks rashly, like the thrusts of a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing." Proverbs 12:18

"Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him." Proverbs 29:20

"The end of all things is near; therefore be of sound judgment and sober spirit for the purpose of prayer. [NOT for the purpose of cynical complaining or cutting others down!] Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins." 1 Peter 4:7-8

Words matter. Good ones. Bad ones. The fact that basically everything motivates me to speak or write tells me that words are an important part of who God has made me to be. But that does not mean all my words are fit for public consumption. Many ought to be reserved for the more intimate relationships of my life, particularly my relationship with God. Quite a few more belong in the trash heap. 

But that small bit left? My prayer today: Lord, change me to be the woman who "opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness." (Proverbs 31:26)